Words matter. Your words matter. But your words plus emotion matter most.
What you say at times of high emotion has a power unlike anything else. When you’re experiencing high emotion (positive or negative) your brain treats that moment as a non-standard situation. It pays a lot of attention and gets primed to learn something new. It’s ready to create new neural pathways.
Remember the impact of your crush being close to you and for the first time saying “I like you”. Big right?
Or how about when you were little and you broke something because you were mucking around in the house. You felt your mum or dad stomping into the room. “Stop being stupid!” you heard as your heart was racing. What do you say to yourself now anytime you make a mistake?
That’s why you have to watch out for emotion-filled words.
What you speak and repeat under the influence of emotion has a disproportionate power in your life and the life of those people around you.
So here’s two ways to make your life better.
Imagine your emotions are like an electric power that builds up in your body. As your emotions grow see your body glowing with more energy.
Firstly, pay attention as you feel your body start to negatively charge with emotion. Notice when you’re 20% charged. Know what 50% charged feels like. Have one or two strategies to unplug from the situation that’s charging you up so it doesn’t escalate. Decide to hold off saying hurtful things when you are charged like this – especially when talking to yourself.
Secondly, when you feel positively charged, combine the moment with words that build and nurture. “I’m really thankful for you”, “I loved doing this with you”, “I noticed this about you” – feel it and say it – especially when talking to yourself.
